reTHiNK update: First meeting planned, then I got them all lost

Cast of Wayward Seniors. Photos / Joselyn Khor

I'm not good with maps, and it appears I also have special powers in that this inability of mine can be transferred onto other people. Through the mere task of me referring to maps, others are at risk of being marooned in no-man's land.

So it was that each one of my actors and actresses proceeded to get lost due to my inability to find my way around a map.

Finally got most of my cast to meet at the end though, which is ... phew.

I really need to learn what this whole 'geography' thing is about.

Onto the meeting. It went well.

Discussed all aspects of the show and it seems like the cast are pretty damn happy with what they've read, and what they can look forward to, too.

Will be getting the acting part sorted soon. 

This was the first time I got to meet them as real people. Not just names on paper, but real, living, breathing people.

Next part: seeing how they bring their characters to life.

For a bit about the show ...

Wayward Seniors will be a comedy so obviously, need straight-laced actors who cannot make fun of themselves.

Oh man, why so serious?

Carl Smith. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Will be playing banker Doug in Wayward Seniors. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Marina Volkova. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Will be playing grandma Alma in Wayward Seniors. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Gerry Jaynes. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Will be playing matron Ruth in Wayward Seniors. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Malcolm Dixon. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Will be playing Jasper in Wayward Seniors. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Nicole Marais. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Will be playing Doug's wife, Sandra, in Wayward Seniors. Photo / Joselyn Khor

On second thought, I believe it will work out.



Until next time,

Jos

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Feeling like an American Idol judge (+ video)

After finding my cast for Wayward Seniors, I really couldn't wait to get into that dark choc. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Thought I'd be too tired but just gotta get aaaaa-typin'.

Felt like one of the esteemed Idol judges at an open audition casting call today.

Directors for plays in the Big reTHiNK were seated in a line to watch actors and actresses perform before us.

Thought it'd be a bit intimidating for them - like how it was when I gave auditioning a crack - but lots of them seemed relaxed, confident and charismatic. Quite impressed with their composure, given how they had an audience of other performers as well.

Good experience. Feel like my brain's a bit fuzzy now, so a bit incoherent to people around me, but it was great overall. Taimi did a wonderful job of making it an enjoyable, comfortable experience. We had lunch catered and snacks were an arm's length away to munch on if we, or the performers, felt peckish.

Had so many different characters coming through. A variety of looks, voices, hairstyles. Talented deliveries. 

Was silenced by a few of the performances too. Had what J-Lo would call "goosies" skimming the surface of my skin a few times.

Then deliberated at the end. Another director and I nearly had a bar brawl because we were both impressed with this one actor. Were told to battle it out.

She had me in a headlock, I was squealing on the ground ...

No. There was no drama actually. She made a good point so she ended up casting him in hers. I thought my other one was a fantastic choice too, better suited for my role, and the original guy better suited to play in hers.

So, if you want dramatic cat-fights, I'm afraid there wasn't much going on today.

Now, I can't wait to see what the other directors do with their talented crew.

Found a cast of my own too! Managed to choose five actors for Wayward Seniors. Can't wait to get the rehearsal schedule up and running so I can see what they're made of.

Yay! Tired, but it was well worth it. Can get this show rolling.

Home now and gotten my hands on chai tea and some dark choc. Mmmmmmmmm, delightful combo.

Great way to end a day of laughter, tears, and robot abductions.

Love this job.



Until next time,

Jos

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Audition tips: My first audition ever, holy crap

Travels With My Aunt, directed by Des Smith. Showing November 8 - 17.

I am shaking as I type this.

Went to my first ever audition. Bombed.

Man, if I thought I was a good actress in the beginning, I was fooling myself.

The calibre of the actors there. Incredible. How they stood, how they projected their voices, how they took each role apart and built it into something they could call their own.

I was a little puppy amongst a pack of alpha wolves.

These people knew their skills. Talent in leaps and bounds - of course no one was leaping and bounding off the stage yet - maybe later on, because you know how actors like to play with the stage.

Anyway, ramble, ramble.

Thought I should just write something up to document this frightening, exhilarating, mad experience.

Firstly, just want to say. Respect to all actors and actresses out there who know their craft.

You guys make me look good.

I'll be directing a play called Wayward Seniors written by Rex McGregor in The Like Minds Big reTHiNK this year. Going to find cast members at auditions tomorrow.

Due to this I thought, 'Hey wonder what it'd be like to be in their shoes?'

So on a whim I emailed director Des Smith to ask if I could try auditioning for Travels With My Aunt. Gosh I hate my thoughts some times.

Off I went, dressed in a dapper ensemble. White chiffon shirt, even with a bow tie, to look the part of an onstage "pro".

The silly little outfit was the least of it.

I just about cried when I got up and read the lines. Sitting facing the director and his advisers in a line. We were told to read the script from the start, with actors reading lines, one after the other.

Of course at this stage, I thought, "No problem. This is easy enough."

Pumped out my best English accent and it all went smoothly. Thought I was a pretty sophisticated Henry Pulling and saucy Aunt Augusta at that point.

Then it dawned on me once we went through that first loop. These guys sitting beside me, were good. No, excellent.

Their delivery, their pauses, the punchy inflections in their accents. The tone of their voice. Everything. Marvellous.

I had thrown myself into the deep end and now I was drowning.

My thoughts began to spiral ... "Shit. What have I gotten myself into?"

We were then asked to get into groups of three.

Now was the tricky bit. The first group went up, including Joseph (a talent among other talents), and delivered.

I was speechless. In awe.

To have such charisma when you know you're being judged is one thing, but doing it effortlessly, without a care in the world, is another.

I knew right then and there I was done for.

Michel (one of the other talents I was grouped with) gave me sound advice.

"Just keep swimming," he said when I told him I was drowning. "Have fun with it.

"Get the most out of it you can."

I tried. When our turn came to run through a scene. I shook like my clothes were on fire. The glaring lights, the eyes, then the shaking.

I started to get severe stage fright, which never really happened before when I acted in the musicals.

After our scene, there was a break, and then I was called in to see the director. Surprise, surprise I got to drive home and cry in the car early. (I didn't actually cry. Was rather delighted by what I'd just witnessed.)

What a wonderful experience nonetheless.

So, for all actors and actresses out there who are coming to auditions tomorrow. I know how you feel.

Please rest assured I will not laugh at you, or look at you like a fool. I have such tremendous respect for each and every one of you because it takes courage to stand in front of others and put yourselves in the spotlight.

If I ever go to another audition because I'm suffering yet again from one of those "genius idea" moments. I'll be sure to let you know.

Tips:

• Prepare like there's a gun being held at you, and you have to do it to save yourself. If not, you'll be the one with that pistol shooting yourself in the foot on stage.

• Really learn who the characters are. Get to know their backstory. Devise a way to hold yourself in the role. Be the person you're portraying. Have fun becoming this whole other being.

• You need to know accents inside out or else you'll trip up and your tongue will be in knots. Check out all the videos showing people with the particular accent. Amy Walker knows her stuff. She's a good person to start off with. Andrea Caban's pretty onto it too.

• Don't think you suck. If you're faced with other more experienced actors, try not to let your thoughts get in the way of your performance. Joseph believes if you think crap, you'll start to spiral. So, just don't think, and just do. Get right into it and have a blast with the role.

• I forgot to do this next one so I went all clammy: breathe. Breathe into your diaphragm.

• Concurrently, try and remember projections. Get that voice of yours to the back of the theatre so the audience there can hear you.

• Love every bit of it. Working yourself up and getting too nervous defeats the purpose of why - as a performer - you're there. Hopefully you're there because you love the craft, you love theatre/film/acting. If you do it with real passion, real love. There's no knowing what roles you could be cast in.

• If you're scared. Think, "Jos made an absolute fool of herself, at least I know I can top that demented performance she tried to act out." If you think that, I'm not your friend anymore, but, yes it was a demented performance. Although Des did say I had good energy ...

Break a leg guys!

Until next time,

Jos

What are your best tips to share? Have you ever had a crappy audition too, what was it like? Feel free to voice out in the comment box below.

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Finding happiness: When photos reveal inner truths

Little yellow flower from my garden. Photo / Joselyn Khor

Looking back at my old photos (on FB) has been an eye-opener. Even though I went through untagging a few, I couldn't help but notice how happy and carefree I looked back in 2009. There was such light and joy surrounding the old me.

Guess when you're on the cusp of adulthood, everything induces a state of euphoria. Even stressful uni assignments.

Untainted by the pain of heartbreak/betrayal/missed opportunities/disappointment.

Now three years on, and the photos are of a soulless haggard mess. Gone are the twinkles in eyes turned to stone.

What was it back then that had me in such a state of bliss? Was it the naive impression of the world before me?

Innocence can be a blessing I reckon. Childlike bliss. When you enter the working world, it appears you've stepped through a doorway to hell. Dog eat dog. People devouring other people; chewing then spitting them out like tasteless gum.

The world of innocence forever banished to an untouchable realm.

This observation just struck me once I got thinking. "Man I would've liked to have been friends with the Joselyn of old. The pictures of the Joselyn now, I just want to run from."

I guess a lot of people have felt the same way about me. Three years has seen a marked transformation in my soul, spirit and disposition. The harsh lessons have hardened and shaped me into a person I can no longer recognise in the mirror.

I shudder to think what the old me would've thought.

So. That's me drowning in nostalgia, wanting to come up for a breath of fresh air. Breathe new life into this tired soul.

I miss the old me. Life keeps rolling on and pressing forward while I'm here wallowing. Which is wholly unhelpful.

The carefree days may be a thing from my past, but that doesn't mean I can't create new ones too.

There's defiance in me yet.

Smiling is sexy, apparently. Let's start with that. Let's start small. Let's find wonder in a small yellow flower. Joy in the sun giving vitamin D. Excitement in the stirring of the leaves, marking an atmospheric shift into warmer days.

Ushering in spring allows me to shed the dark, heavy burdens of old. 

Petals peel back in order for the flower to burst into bloom. Might take that as a sign for me too. It might be my cue to pull back this shield of sullen indifference to the world around me. Of which I've been using as a barrier to fight against unhappiness. (Ironically this barrier has become the thing helping unhappiness fester.)

So. I refuse to become jaded.

As it so happens, I feel a little sprightlier, my hands seem to be scrunching up in a ball, and there it goes, a little fist pump.

Time to bring sexy back.

Until next time,

Jos

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Comment: Are Asians ugly?

Peace out homies: Rocking the typical Asian sign (not me, I would shoot myself if I ever posed like these girls). Apart from the stereotype, would you consider her beautiful? Photo / Facebook

It suddenly hit me after seeing, for the umpteenth time, the "typical blonde beauty". The realisation wasn't that blondes were beautiful, but that all blondes were Caucasian.

Then that thought snowballed. 

Being a person who works in the media, I am surrounded by images of luxury, beauty and epically glamorous people. I work under the banner of Life & Style after all.

Having been blanketed by these representations of attractiveness and of "what's hot" for two years, it's only taken that amount of time for it to dawn on me ...

Of all the images I've put up, and of all the articles I've read about beautiful people who have it all - not one of them has been of an Asian face. Not one of those profiles of gorgeous people featured a yellow visage.

I do understand beauty, like fashion, is considered a subjective thing, but it has never struck me as clearly as it has today.

Can people even tell if beauty resides in the Asian race if all representations of beauty belong to a Caucasian face?

Flicking through any fashion and beauty magazine, or any magazine at a supermarket for that matter. It seems Asians don't really factor into the equation when considering the ideal vision of attractiveness.

Researchers have tried to weigh in on this; trying to figure out what "beautiful" is. Turns out, it's Florence Colgate. Scientifically proven to be the fairest of them all.

Which kind of indoctrinates the view there is only one type of beautiful person.

It's as if we're only allowed a taste of one kind of beauty as seen through: ads, newspapers, magazines and TV. In every single one of them, the ideal gorgeous face seems to be European/Caucasian.

Watching Supernatural also got me thinking along the lines of ... 

"Dayum, those boys are hot. Dayum, those demon chicks are hot. I'm pretty damn jealous of them being able to make Dean look in their direction. 

"Wait, not one hottie was Asian. Even if I were there, would he even notice? 

"Man my legs are short ... guess he wouldn't be able to see me anyway.

"Hmm, howcome only super skinny white girls are considered the desirable, sexy, seductive things capable of drawing such attention?"

Then came the question, are Asians ugly? Or are we just too foreign to appear attractive?

The fact remains, we are of a small stature. Some with squinty eyes, and 3/4 of us girls possessing stumpy legs. Nothing close to the Amazonian goddesses of Brazil, Miami or even, Sydney. 

Due to my job, I may have had my head crammed into too many fashion and beauty magazines for this sort of distorted view, but I only write this out of curiosity.

Having been in NZ since I was a bub, I've never really considered there to be such a stark monopolisation of one kind of "beauty" in the media. I guess having grown up here, that's all I've ever really known. That only European/white people can be considered beautiful or attractive.

In a way I guess this is natural as there haven't been any other messages to tell me otherwise. 

So I must ask, if beauty is a subjective thing, then howcome no other colours brighten up the eye-catching landscape of the media? Why is it there is only one colour used on this canvas representing an image of the world?

I guess differences freak people out because they are uncomfortable to deal with, but, don't we all deserve a fair go at being seen under the microscope of impartiality? To be represented so that others may well be able to consider for themselves, what beauty actually is? 

Instead of being force-fed only one kind of flavour, wouldn't varied tastes make for a more balanced judge?

It would be great if you want to share your thoughts.

I genuinely am curious to know other viewpoints about this matter. Can Asians be beautiful if there haven't been many views of what a beautiful Asian looks like? What is considered beautiful anyway? Legs that stretch on for ages; big eyes with fan-like eyelashes ...  or, what?

At this point, I've been born, so it's kind of impossible to look like those ethereal, towering twigs when I already possess thighs that look like tree trunks. Yes, an Asian with hips and thighs. 

Ah, dayum.

Until next time,

Jos

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